Boundaries
The topic of maintaining clear boundaries often comes up in therapy. Setting healthy boundaries around what we agree to, say “no” to, and allow from others is important for everyone. We can’t control what people ask of us, how they speak to us, or how they feel, but we CAN take responsibility for telling others how we want to be treated, what we will tolerate, and only agreeing to what we truly want to do (because it is deeply valued somehow). Sometimes that means speaking our truth and sometimes it means walking away – sometimes both. And all of this is easier said than done, but an important and worthy pursuit if we want to live healthy lives without anger and resentment being our constant companion. Over the next few weeks, I will be outlining what healthy boundaries are (and are not), how to set them and keep them, why individuals with High IQ’s struggle with setting boundaries, how to involve values and mindfulness, and what we are NOT responsible for (e.g. other people’s feelings).
What boundaries do you set for yourself and for others? When do you struggle the most and what has proven effective? What specific issues as a HIQ individual do you face with regard to boundary setting? Leave a response in the comment section or send me a message. Tell me what you’d like to see in the series.
Tara Travia, PhD 